until....
That darn "C" word hit again. Cancer. In a matter of months I had lost four loved ones to the disease and a few more were diagnosed. It was more than I could take. I was cracking....
I called an old friend and asked her for a reference to a good Christian therapist in the Des Moines area. Never did I think I would be sitting on a couch...never in a million years. I was the one who helped...not the one who needed help.
His name was Dr. Dilly - and I met with him twice. The first visit I sat on his couch with a box of kleenex and bawled like a baby for what seemed like an eternity. I was embarrassed, shocked, and relieved all at the same time. Talk about a wide range of emotions in a short period of time... Once I composed myself he asked me some tough questions.
The toughest question?
Name three things that scare you.
It turned out to be the easiest one to answer and the words came tumbling out rapidly...
1.) Confrontation
2.) Rejection
3.) Cancer
WOW! I remember sitting there watching his reaction. He was very calm as he looked down at my initial interview sheet I had filled out prior to our meeting. Then he looked at me, shook his head, and with sincerity and a bit of humor in his voice said, "And you sell real estate for a living?". I think I started laughing hysterically at this point....that laughter that leads to crying, and snorting, and more kleenex to wipe up the mess.
WOW!
I was in sales where, on any given day, I got to be a financial counselor, a marriage counselor, a babysitter, and sometimes, just a Realtor. Talk about confrontation and rejection!
After my second meeting with Dr. D., I learned what my stressors were, how to effectively deal with them to keep my sanity, and I learned that I am not alone....ever.... and I'm human. A sinner, an imperfect person with high aspirations of perfection that I'll never achieve.
Now don't get me wrong - I'll stand up for myself six days out of seven, but open confrontation isn't something I look for during my day. I prefer to be the peace-maker. There's always a way to resolve issues if you just take a breath and step back for a second. Sometimes the only way is to agree to disagree - and that's okay. I've evolved over the years....
I've made the choice to be a peace-maker for most of my adult life. I've learned that throwing a fit doesn't solve anything except release anger that usually makes someone else feel like crap, and well, after that happens, I feel even worse.
Maybe it's because I'm married....
Maybe it's because I'm a mom....
Maybe it's because I'm a woman....
Maybe it's because I'm a Christian...
and just maybe it's because I am all of them.
I think Dr. Dilly would be proud of my progress. I think he would laugh that I went from the frying pan into the fire - so to speak - being a business owner now, but I'm sure he would be proud.
Regardless, I still have those three fears... The biggest difference now?
Those three fears don't have me anymore.
