What do genetics and floodgates have in common?
From a language standpoint, nothing really..... I mean look at the definitions:
ge·net·ics - noun - the science of heredity, dealing with resemblances and differences of related organisms resulting from the interaction of their genes and the environment.
flood·gate - noun - a gate designed to regulate the flow of water.
Two nouns.....unrelated......unless....
Unless you're a mother....
When it comes to being a mother, the two go hand in hand, and are intensely intertwined....
My mother is not a "crier".....she is a strong woman of Irish heritage, who could carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and still do chores, make supper, finish the laundry & tuck her girls into bed.... she held my hand when it needed held, but pushed me when I needed to be pushed. It was from her I learned so much....
In 1995 I became a mother to a beautiful, blonde girl..... and my experience with genetics & floodgates began....
Case in point:
A daughter, my first-born, graduating from high school.
This happened to me this year....just last week.
I knew this day would come....
I remember the first day I dropped her off at the Apple Tree Daycare center - the nervousness in her eyes, the hugs and reassurance coming from me, and the determination of both of us to not cry.
Genetics & Floodgates.....
Fast forward to 6th grade - moving to a new town - an extremely small, rural town - the town your dad grew up in - buying the grocery store, and not knowing a soul except your grandparents. Utter torture for a pre-teen girl....and her mother remembers well how mean those girls can be - life doesn't change much....but off to school she goes and her worst fears are realized. Bullied and made fun of for the things that make her the light of her mother's eyes... and I try again, to reassure her for MANY years, while she cries in my arms and I hold back my tears....
Genetics & Floodgates....
Bring on graduation -
Oh, have I seen amazing growth in this girl who used to cower at new situations....
my "what-if" girl...
"What if the school starts on fire, Mom?" "What if I don't get on the right bus, Mom?" "What if there is a tornado, Mom?" "What if.....",
I've seen her mature into a determined to face her fears, in your face if you've wronged her or anyone else, girl. A bright light of energy, compassion, honesty and faith.
I spent this last year of her school years reflecting....
remembering....
smiling....
and not crying....
Some mothers looked at me as if I was void of emotion.... others told me it would hit me when I least expected it....and still others warned me of potential break-downs....
I watched her dance her last dance, sing her last song, play her last beat, accept her diploma, turn her tassel, and still no tears... well, not full ones anyway. There were lip quivers and watery eyes, but nothing fell....
Genetics & Floodgates....
She and I just returned from a school band/choir trip to Chicago.... I watched her interact with her peers, smile and laugh, reach out to others and thrive. I watched her share her love of music with children of all races and put smiles on their faces as they got a chance to play her quads. I watched her deal with emotions, mean-girls, encounters with strangers, and handle each situation with grace. I was a proud momma....we're talking heart-busting wide open, proud momma. :)
I was so pleased that she asked to hang out with me (and not just because I had the money - tee hee), we got to make many memories that trip.... my "adult" child and I.
And the floodgates started to crack open....
Fast forward to yesterday....
Transferring pictures of the trip to discs....
crack...
"Seeing" her through the lens of my camera....
crack......
Observing the light radiate from her smile....
crack....
Listening to her voice as she sang....
Woosh!..... and the floodgates are fully open
The tears are flowing freely, emotions washing over me like a tidal wave....joy, sadness, pride, fear....
.....and my beautiful, blonde comes to me. She holds me.... I hold her.....she weeps softly....
We heal.
We rejoice.
We celebrate.
We remember.
We love.
We move on to the next chapter.
