No Spaghetti Arms

I can see the scene as clear today as if it was the first time I watched Patrick Swayze and Jenifer Grey work on dance moves in the movie Dirty Dancing.  The laughter in their eyes as she was taking the lead in teaching him how to dance and all he wanted was to hold her close...and she proceeds to tell him, as she spreads his arms out to his sides, "This is your dance space.....This is my dance space.....No spaghetti arms." 





It still brings a smile to my face...partially because the movie came out in my teen years and told a tale of a time I am in love with, and partially because I always thought Patrick Swayze was hot.  Yes.....I said it.....H.O.T., hot.  :)

But this post isn't about dancing.  Well, not so much the kind that is done on the dance floor.  It's about maintaining a space around yourself. 

A protective space. 
A harbor. 
A calm space. 

Life's dance.

We have many dance partners in our lifetime if you think about it. Not all the partners are two-legged and not all of them are graceful, nor are they polite. 

In fact, some of the dance partners I've had in my life have been horrible, toe-stepping on, hideous breath types.  No, not boyfriends of the past....but things like:

  Cancer that claimed Grandparents, Aunts and friends

  Betrayal of friends that cut deep wounds

  Fights within the family that you wish you could take back

  Bad choices - made quickly without thought to repercussions

Dance partners that I wanted to keep at arms length  - no spaghetti arms here....but they had other ideas....it was more like a wrestling match with them instead of a dance. 

Gripping me so tight I thought I'd never catch another breath. 
Stomping on my feet until I would cry in pain.
Invading my personal space, my calm, safe happy place.

And it seemed for a while that partners like this would fill my dance card forever. 

Seemed.....

Until I realized that although I can't keep these dance partners OFF my dance card....I can learn to dance with them a little better.

Like dealing with cancer....the big C.  The thing that I know will come into my life on a personal level and I'll fight with every ounce of my being....but I'll dance with it.  I'll let it lead me onto the dance floor and start the dance, but you can bet it will be a give and take of who is leading from that point on.  I'm sure there will be some days where it will be running me ragged with a fast cha-cha....and others where I'm kicking butt at the jitterbug....and still other times that we'll waltz, slow and with an understanding that only comes from having the same dance partner for so long.....

While I can't keep "spaghetti armed" dance partners out of my life, I can remind myself that no matter what happens on the dance floor of life, I won't always have those partners.... So I guess I can take the interruption of those dance partners who step on my toes, hold me too tight, and have absolutely HIDEOUS breath, and dance with them graciously....

They can step into my personal space...
My safe harbor.
My calm, happy place.

Because.....

For the most part I have great, Fred Astaire-like partners, that make me smile and twirl me around and make me look good.... you know...

like Patrick Swayze did with Jennifer Grey....

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner"




And so I dance.....