Where do we go from here?

Tomorrow is it.

The day I have been dreading since last year when my small congregation made the decision that 2015 would be the last year our church doors would stay open.  A firm date wasn't chosen until this spring and that date is now tomorrow.  It seemed so far away when we talked.....

It wasn't.
It isn't.....

October 25, 2015

In the Lutheran Church, this year October 25th is celebrated as Reformation Day.  For those of you (like me - a little Methodist girl) who didn't learn the significance of Reformation Day, I'll outline it quickly for you.

Martin Luther, born to a Roman Catholic family, became an Augustinian monk and was ordained to the priesthood in 1507.  While studying theology at the University of Wittenberg, he found the theology teachings began to clash with the teachings of the Catholic church.  He wrote that salvation came not by any human work, but by absolute faith in God's promise of forgiveness because of Jesus Christ. In 1517, he nailed a document - known as the 95 Theses - to the church door at Wittenburg and thus started the Protestant Reformation.

We chose to close our doors on Reformation Sunday....

I went to my church this morning, to drop off the mail in Pastor's office. I noticed the sunlight coming in from the windows, falling across the honey-colored paneling.  I opened doors to old classrooms that have been empty of children learning about the Trinity for more years than I'd like to say.  I walked the hallway back towards the sanctuary, each footfall bring me closer to the end of an era.

I stood in front of the alter.



Head bowed. Tears flowing.

Memories of my children being confirmed, my in-laws being married, the singing for funerals, the multiple times of taking communion came washing over me.

In my ear I heard, "Jesus wept."

I turned and my hands gently touched each pew as I walked toward "our pew".  I turned in the last pew (yes, it's a Lutheran thing to sit at the very back) and sat.  Not on the end - that's Robie's spot, but one space in - my spot.

I sat and took in the entire chancel.  From the cross and the candlesticks on the alter; the large Bible that sits just off center, to the two chancel chairs where past Pastors and guest Pastors have sat, to the pulpit where it seemed most Sundays that Pastor was talking directly to my heart.



The pew....

The pew where my children bickered between themselves and got "the look" from me and would quiet down.  The pew that has held my family as my son grew tall enough that his knees now touch the pew in front of us, whereas it seems just like yesterday, his feet barely touched the outdated, gold-flecked carpeting of the floor. The pew where I held my husband's hand, even though we might have argued just that morning over running late because of missing shoes or ties, because we were in God's house and we needed that reminder of love.

More tears.

I finally got up and walked down the few stairs, past the members' mail-boxes, the sign up sheets for ushering, communion, and alter flower duties with November and December crossed off, and I paused at the doors.


  I said a prayer for those of us "homeless" after Sunday.



As I locked the doors, I thought about Martin Luther and his 95 Theses.  I thought about the changes of the church and the world in the last 498 years since that fateful day in 1517.  I thought about the changes in our own church.

I prayed and wondered where we'll go from here...